How dare you touch my halo.

Keep your hands to yourself.

I know that you are jealous

of my divine and holy wealth,

because I have a big shining halo,

because I am the Chosen One.

It was a present.

God gave it to me personally

at the top of a mountain

in the Lake District.

And He said to me

that I should never give it away

or let other people finger it.

'Let them stare’, He said.

It is especially made for me.

The label on the back reads:

'Guaranteed for Eternity.

Will not shrink.  Drip-dry.'

 It is my reward for being

better than anyone else in the world.

One day, when He sends me

the wings which He promised too,

I will hover above your head

and spit on you.

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